Saturday - R

Hey everyone - the last two weeks have been awful, thank you for asking.

For anyone who doesn't know, I'm an RA here on campus and one of the RA's that I work with passed away on Sunday, March 31st. For all of you who have asked, I understand that you don't know why this is a bad question, but yes we were close. There's something about living in that kind of community with someone that makes someone more than a friend. We're family.

I'm not telling you this to ask for your apologies or sympathy. I'm telling you this to update you that life has been pretty crappy and it's been hard to write a blog post about how amazing God is. Truthfully, I'm angry. I am horribly angry. And I've been struggling with my emotions, but maybe blogging is the way to go, who knows?

The day that Chandler passed away, we had a gathering on campus to remember, to pray, to be in community. It was hell. But I loved every second of it. I loved seeing how much of an impact my friend had on campus. I loved seeing how deeply loved he was. I loved celebrating his life together with complete strangers.

Between this event and something that a mentor recently told me, I couldn't help but think about Jesus's disciples. In our Bibles, every single Gospel skips from Jesus's death on Friday to the resurrection on Sunday. There isn't a word mentioned about how the disciples spent Saturday. If I were forced to guess, I'd say Saturday was about the darkest day of all of their lives. The day of his death would undeniably be difficult for them, but there's something about the cold light of the next morning that cements the reality of the misery in which you're living. Saturday would've been dark. It would've been quiet. John tells us that the disciples (on Sunday at least) were locked up in a room together out of fear.

We miss something when we skip straight from Friday to Sunday. We miss that sometimes we have to live in the pain of Saturday. We miss that there will be times when we've lost all hope, when we feel completely alone, when our Savior feels completely absent, and when we have nothing left to do but lock ourselves in a room.

The tension of Christianity is living in the space between Friday and Sunday. We live between the comings of Jesus. We know that the kingdom of God is at hand, that it's begun breaking into our world, but it hasn't been fully realized yet and we have no idea when it will be. We live before the promise has come. We live with nothing but hope.

I'm living in Saturday right now. But I'm also living with hope that God will bring comfort. God will heal. God will restore. And God will give life to us all.

If you're here with me, take heart. Sunday is coming.

~RJS~